お見合いでの会話は、おたがいのことを知るためにはとても大切です。
ですがお見合いの際、特定の言葉や話題は、お見合い相手に不快感や不安を抱かせるので注意が必要です。
お見合い相手が気を遣わないような話題を選びましょう。
ここでは、お見合いで避けたいNGワードについて、詳しく深堀りしてみましょう。
マイナスな発言をする
自分の見た目や性格を卑下する発言をする
お見合いの際、自分を貶める言葉を使うと、お見合い相手に自信がないように映ってしまいます。
自分の良いところをアピールして、前向きな言葉を使うと、お見合い相手もあなたを好印象で受け入れやすくなります。
相手の容姿や性格を否定する発言をする
お見合い相手の容姿や性格を否定的な言葉で表現すると、お見合い相手を傷つけてふたりの関係がこじれることがあります。
要するに、初対面でいきなり自分や他人をイジって笑いを取るなどの行為は、あなたの器量が狭い印象を相手に与えるので避けた方が良いということです。
お見合い相手の良いところを探して、尊重する姿勢を持ちましょう。
過去の恋愛や結婚の失敗談を話す
過去の恋愛や結婚の失敗談を話すことは避けた方が良いです。
関係性にもよりますが殆どの場合、初対面の人の過去の恋愛話など誰も興味がありません。
代わりに、未来に向けて前向きなトークをして、お見合い相手との共感を深めることが大切です。
過去のトラウマや失敗について話すのは、おたがいの関係が進展してからのほうが良いでしょう。
プライベートな質問をする
年収や資産など、相手のお金に関する質問をする
初対面のお見合い相手にいきなり、お金に関する質問をするのは不適切です。
お見合い相手のプライバシーを尊重し、お金についての話題は避けましょう。
経済的なことは、時間が経ってお見合い相手との信頼がしっかり築かれた後に話すべきです。
相手の家族や親族に関する質問をする
お見合いの際、家族や親族への詳しい質問は、お見合い相手にとってパーソナルな部分なので、初めてのお見合いで触れるべきではありません。
軽い話題から始めて、少しずつ深い話題にしていくのが適切です。
お見合い相手が自分から家族について話そうとするまでゆっくりと待つのがベストです。
相手の宗教や政治信条に関する質問をする
宗教や政治のことを聞くと、お見合い相手との感情的な言い争いが始まることがあります。
ですので初対面では宗教や政治に関わる話題は避けて、お見合い相手の意見を尊重しましょう。
ふたりの関係が深まったら、その話題を楽しんでもいいでしょう。
下ネタや性的な発言をする
セクハラやパワハラな発言をする
言うまでもありませんが、セクハラやパワハラな発言はお見合い相手を不快にさせます。
お見合い相手を尊重して、適切なマナーを守りましょう。
性的関係を匂わせる発言をする
初対面で性的な話題をすることは、お見合い相手を不快にさせる可能性が高いです。
お見合い相手の気持ちをよく考えて、セクシャルな話題を避けることが大切です。
自慢話や悪口をする
自分の仕事や学歴、見た目などを自慢する発言をする
自慢話を聞かれてもいないのにベラベラと話す行為は、お見合い相手に嫌われる原因となります。
謙虚さを決して忘れずに、お見合い相手の話題に共感しましょう。
謙虚さとほどほどな自己紹介のバランスを取りましょう。
元恋人や元夫婦の悪口を言う
過去の恋愛について否定的なことを話すのは、お見合い相手を不快にさせて、お見合い相手の信頼を損なう可能性があります。
前向きなトークに切り替えて、過去は過去として扱いましょう。
病気や障害に関する発言をする
自分の病気や障害をネタにする発言をする
自分の病気や障害をネタにすることは、相手に不適切な印象を与えかねません。
また、そんな話題を初対面で提供されても、相手はどうリアクションすれば良いか困惑してしまうことでしょう。
初対面では空気を読み、状況に応じて適切なタイミングで話しましょう。
相手の病気や障害を差別する発言をする
お見合い相手の健康上の問題を差別的な言葉で言うと、相手を傷つけて関係がこじれる可能性が高いです。
お見合い相手に対して尊重と理解を示すことが大切です。
犯罪や暴力に関する発言をする
過去に犯した犯罪や暴力について話す
過去の犯罪や暴力に関する話題は、お見合い相手を不快にさせる可能性がとても高いです。これを武勇伝のように自慢げに話すなど、問題外ですのでやめましょう。
また決して人として自慢できることではありません。
自慢できないような過去の出来事は、おたがいの関係が深まってから話すべきです。
犯罪や暴力に対する考えを話す
犯罪や暴力に関する自身の考えを語ることは、特に女性に嫌われる話題であり、お見合い相手との関係を壊す可能性があります。
感情的な議論を避けるためにも、ポジティブな話題に切り替えることをおすすめします。
まとめ
お見合いで成功するためには、相手を不快にさせないように気を付けましょう。
自分を貶めたり、相手をけなしたり、プライベートなことを詳しく聞きすぎたり、下品な話や性的なことを言ったり、自慢話や悪口、病気や障害、犯罪や暴力について話すのは控えましょう。
お見合い相手を尊重して、前向きな会話を心がけて、新しい始まりに良い印象を残しましょう。
コメント欄
Bryn Thomas Jones, Senior Examiner, Board of Inland Income.
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